My Path to Motherhood, Part 7: The Birth

I birthed a beautiful baby boy at home on Tuesday, May 17, 2022.

The Saturday prior, we attended our neighbor’s intimate backyard wedding and danced to a local New Orleans themed street band. Afterwards, Andrew and I went out to a local farm for ice cream. I ordered a decadent strawberry shortcake sundae and we walked through the nearby barn to look at the calves that were recently born. A large cow that was lying down near the back wall of the barn was making some interesting faces. We deduced pretty quickly that she was in labor! We watched her with fascination and curiosity. Low and behold, she birthed a calf right before our eyes. It was so incredible. 

After an experience like that, it was no surprise that I felt my first set of contractions that same night! Around 11:00 pm, I felt wave-like sensations radiating from my sacrum and intensifying inward. I started timing the sensations and sent the information to my Midwife, Elizabeth and Doula, Sara. Sara texted back that it would be completely normal for these contractions to suddenly stop and that’s what happened! I fell asleep eventually and woke up on Sunday morning to no more pain. 

We enjoyed a normal Sunday and both went to work on Monday. I noticed some slight contraction-like sensations while at work on Monday, but didn’t think much of it. Around 7:00 PM (and after finishing up a home project that I’d had on my to do list the entire pregnancy), contractions started to intensify. I talked to Elizabeth around 10:00 PM and asked her if we should let our jobs know that labor was commencing. She said that we didn’t know, at this point, if this was true labor and suggested we both prioritize rest.

Early labor with our amazing doula, Sara.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t sleep because the pain continued to increase and I woke Andrew around 1:00 AM to help me. He called Sara and she came over to provide some support. As I laid in bed, she squeezed my hips as each contraction began. After a few hours, Sara suggested that Andrew take over providing hands-on support so that she could go home to rest. Apparently, I was in early labor although it felt like I was farther along.

As labor continued into Tuesday morning, my mom arrived to pick up Luna. I asked Andrew on numerous occasions where Sara and Elizabeth were. The pain of each contraction was too intense, in my opinion, for just Andrew and myself to handle. We started a circuit of laboring positions, including bed, shower, pool, and couch, but I thought we needed the support of our birth team.

Laboring in the birth pool in our living room.

Sara came back to our house around 11:00 AM on Tuesday and relieved Andrew so he could sleep. She continued to support me in trying different laboring positions, to help my cervix dilate and to relieve the intensity of the pain. We called Elizabeth around noon and she asked me if I wanted her to come over now or if she could wait until 3:15 PM, after a 2:00 PM appointment she had with another client. I told her that now would be better. 

When she arrived, she checked my cervix and told me that I was progressing and on track. She asked me if I wanted to know the exact measurement of my cervix dilation and I told her I didn’t. I found out afterward that I was 5 centimeters dilated, 100% effaced, and +2 station for those of you who know what those numbers mean! Elizabeth and Sara stayed from then on and a few hours later, the birth assistant, Brittney, arrived.

Sara continued to help me alternate positions and locations to help the labor progress: bed, pool, standing, yoga ball, shower. It was so challenging and she kept reminding me that I was strong, everything I was experiencing was normal, to make low sounds, and that each contraction was temporary. All of these reminders were keystones to the success of the birth, in my opinion.

One surprising thing about labor that I was not aware of beforehand is finding the balance between progressing labor and managing pain. Sara challenged me, after a period of time in the pool to break from the pain, to take on some very intense laboring positions because they would help my cervix to dilate and move labor along.

I continued this routine into the evening and around 6:00 PM, I started feeling the urge to push. Elizabeth checked my cervix again and I had made progress, but still had more to go (7 centimeters dilated, 100% effaced, +2 station). From this point on, I was instructed not to push and to release into the sensation to allow my cervix to dilate fully. This was the hardest part of labor for sure.

Sara saw that I was struggling and told me that I could push if that’s what my body needed, but not to do any extra pushing. If I started pushing when my cervix wasn’t fully dilated, I could cause swelling. Around 9:30 PM, Elizabeth checked my cervix for a 3rd time and I was finally fully dilated, still 100% effaced, and the baby was at a +3 station. It was now time to push. I felt relief and fear as I entered this next phase of labor. 

Starting to push on our bed.

I stayed in our bedroom for delivery. I tried sidelying, on my back, standing, and on hands and knees. Elizabeth coached me through the ideal breathing and method for pushing the baby out. Sara fed me honey to give me some energy. I pushed for about an hour and suddenly this beautiful, crying baby emerged and was placed on my chest. What a magnificent moment. We said hello to our 5 lb 12 ounce baby boy, Elliott at 10:50 PM.

Meeting our baby for the first time.

After birthing the placenta, Elizabeth assessed for tears and determined that I had a 2nd degree perineum tear. She injected lidocaine in and around my vulva to prepare for stitches. Around the same time, Elizabeth began massaging my belly to stimulate my uterus to contract and manage the postpartum bleeding. Unfortunately, the bleeding wasn’t stopping. While Sara tried to get the baby to breastfeed, Elizabeth inserted a catheter to empty my bladder, so that she could better access my uterus. The bleeding continued so she gave me a shot of pitocin in the leg and shortly thereafter placed a dissolvable medicine in my mouth and a gel up my rectum. The bleeding continued. The final and worst (but necessary) approach to manage the hemorrhage was to stick her entire hand in my vagina to scoop out blood clots. Elizabeth released three big clots, which  was frightening and in reaction to the medication and loss of blood, I started shaking. At that point, she said we’d call 911 if the bleeding didn’t ease up, but thankfully, it did. 

Because of the focus on stopping the hemorrhage, the stitches had to wait. Andrew fed me warm soup and hot tea to warm me up. I felt lightheaded from the blood loss. 

Recovering in the first couple of hours after birth.

All this time, Elliott was on my chest. We transitioned the baby to Andrew’s chest so that I could focus on recovering. We were shell shocked and were not sure how we were going to manage. I texted my mom asking her to come over in the morning. We needed help.

Around 1:00 AM, I was able to get up and walk to the bathroom to try to pee on my own. When I got back in bed, Andrew cut the cord and Brittney did the newborn exam where we found out the baby’s sex. After all this and about four hours after birthing Elliott, Elizabeth sewed up my perineum. I opted out of getting more lidocaine and just got the four stitches. After all this, four stitches were the least of my concern!

We tried breastfeeding again and the team packed up and left at 3:30 AM. Andrew and I swaddled Elliott and attempted to sleep from around 4:00-6:00 AM. 

What an emotional time when my world felt upside down. Within the first few days, Elliott lost 10% of his body weight, so we were on a strict feeding regimen. Every two hours for about 48 hours, I attempted to breastfeed (he had trouble latching at first). If Elliott wasn’t able to latch, I pumped (to get my milk to come in), we’d feed him the colostrum that I pumped, and then follow that with two ounces of formula. I think we were running on a special kind of adrenaline as we adapted to this new life. I felt an incredibly deep love for this being as I healed from the intense labor, delivery, and post-birth. Now, my world feels like it’s oscillating towards a new equilibrium. I’m used to sleeping in 2-3 hour chunks and I am absolutely in love with this cute little baby.