My story….

My identity started to take shape at age five when the family unit collapsed. My stepmother and stepsister entered the picture soon after, enriching and complicating my childhood in different ways, and causing my older sister and I to navigate two households with very different atmospheres. When I was 12, my father, stepmother, and two younger siblings moved to Belgium. The distance and opportunity to travel both enhanced and rocked my upbringing. Through these years, I observed the family dynamics around me and learned that by following directions and earning good grades, I would feel ‘safe’ and loved.

Starting at a young age, I learned piano, voice, and percussion and began acting in my elementary school musicals. I continued juggling various bands, musicals, choirs, and state competitions through high school. I practiced diligently and was praised for my discipline and talent, but underneath it all, I had to be perfect, and I felt immense pressure to achieve.

In college, I minored in vocal performance, performed in operas, and joined an a cappella group. After college and throughout my 20s, I joined various choirs and explored different vocal approaches, ultimately trying to find my true voice and who I was.

When I was 24, my younger sister, Meghan, died suddenly in a car accident and my whole world turned upside down. Grief oscillated between anger and avoidance, unable to process and feel my emotions. In response to her death, I yearned to spend my precious time on this Earth doing meaningful things - no longer could I work just for money and benefits - but nothing seemed quite right, and I found myself job hopping, unsatisfied, confused, and losing confidence.

Meghan’s death fast-tracked my journey of self-discovery. As I struggled with feelings of anxiety and depression, I discovered Kundalini Yoga, where I finally experienced an inner peace so profound that I could finally hear my inner voice, guiding me along. It was such a relief and eye-opening how powerful breath, movement, music, and chanting could be.

Through yoga and various Eastern medicine practices, I’m developing a more caring relationship with all parts of myself, and I’ve finally discovered who I am. The journey continues to be rocky, but I feel more at peace as I live into my truth.