Motherhood Expanded
My 2nd baby was born at home on August 1, 2024. His name is Henry Alan Bare. His eyes are a deep blue. His hair has a reddish tint, just like mine when I was a baby. This is my pregnancy and birth story.
Henry, after his first bath.
I found out I was pregnant with Henry in late November 2023. A week later, I was informed that January 31, 2024, would be my last day employed at Maryland University of Integrative Health due to a merger with another university.
Although unexpected unemployment is not ideal, I had more time to take care of myself. When I wasn’t looking for work, I napped, made nutritious smoothies, exercised, and met with a health and wellness coach. I experienced a typical pregnancy rollercoaster: nausea, food aversions, and fatigue in trimester 1, a boost of energy in trimester 2, and an increase in fatigue and physical discomfort in trimester 3. Overall, I felt less stressed than when I was pregnant with Elliott. Having been pregnant, birthed, and raised one baby already, I was less anxious and fearful this time around since I knew what to expect. Gratefully, I didn’t have any complications and the pregnancy progressed smoothly.
As I neared my due date (August 6), I continued to feel good and kept up with a weekly barre class. Each day, I made sure to complete as many unfinished tasks as I could since I never knew when the baby would arrive. On July 31, I received one last prenatal massage at 11:15 AM and then met with my midwife at 2:45 PM. At this appointment, I felt more uncomfortable and tired than I had been feeling up until this point. In a moment of foreshadowing, the midwife mentioned that a massage can sometimes induce labor.
Our family about one month before Henry arrived.
We went to bed at 10:00 PM that night and around 2:00 AM, I was woken up by contractions. I started timing them to see if there was any consistency. At 3:10 AM, I texted my midwife and doula with the data: contractions were every 5-6 minutes, lasting about 1.5 minutes at most. I tried to rest as best I could to prepare my body for the more intense labor to come. Around 5:00 AM, I woke Andrew up and asked him to set up the birth pool. I got out of bed too, breathing, rocking, and stretching through each contraction to relieve the intensity. I was excited that labor had finally begun!
I timed the contractions again around 6:30 AM. They were occurring every 3-7 minutes for about one minute at a time. Soon after, Elliott woke up and my mom arrived to help us out. We decided to all walk together to drop Elliott off at daycare around 7:45 AM with the understanding that I would need to pause and breathe through each contraction. As each contraction began, I stopped walking, leaned forward, and placed my hands on my thighs to ease the pain. As each contraction ended, we continued walking.
The contractions increased slightly in intensity as we returned home. For the next hour and a half, Andrew and I enjoyed a quiet morning together. We got some house and yard chores done, watched part of a movie, and ate another breakfast.
We spoke with our doula around 8:30 AM. She coached me through a contraction over the phone, reminding me to soften into it, a tip I utilized moving forward. Soon after, I referenced a labor guide that our doula had provided and realized that I needed to change my approach. The position I was assuming (bending forward) for each contraction was easing the pain, but potentially directing the contraction back. The labor guide suggested tucking the pelvis to direct the contraction down. I started doing this method and felt more pain, but thought it was a good approach for progressing labor, something my doula taught me when I was laboring with Elliott. (Cheers to my doula, Sara Piccioni).
The labor guide also provided an overview of early labor and active labor. This definition of early labor was how I was feeling most of the morning: Contractions are “45-60 seconds long, every 3-5 minutes - still feeling strong, and you need to pause and breathe during contractions, but you are still able to talk in between. Contraction pattern is steady and consistent.”
At 10:00 AM, I sat on the toilet in a deep squat (to poop…), with the help of my squatty potty (*highly recommend*). I noticed that my mucus plug came out and texted the birth team to inform them. Here’s the transcript of our group text from then on:
10:10 AM - My mucus plug just came out. (Me)
10:11 AM - Oh good! How are contractions feeling? (Doula)
10:13 AM - Slight increase in intensity. I’m needing to make sound. (Me)
10:16 AM - Ok good! I think you know when you really need me by your side so you let me know. (Doula)
10:27 AM - Just had my most intense contraction. I’ll start timing again. (Me)
10:35 AM - I think I’m entering active labor. We could use more support. (Me)
This is the definition of active labor that I used from the labor guide: Contractions are “60+ seconds long, every 2-3 minutes - stronger than you’ve felt them before, may feel a bit more pressure on your pelvic floor. You really need to focus on breathing or moaning through contractions. You have a harder time talking between contractions and may just close your eyes to rest and recoup. Contraction pattern is steady and consistent.” It was spot on.
10:35 AM - Ok, I’ll get ready to head over. (Doula)
Our doula called us around now and asked if she had a half hour to swing home for her doula supplies or if we needed her immediately. We told her a half hour was fine.
10:36 AM - Did you want me to come now as well? (Midwife)
10:37 AM - We can start with Sara. (Me)
10:39 AM - Just keep me posted. (Midwife)
10:54 AM - Just had a few really strong contractions. Alyssa thinks we might need you soon, Heather. (Andrew)
Each contraction was more intense than the previous one. I held on to Andrew and dropping all of my body weight, trying to surrender to the pain. I was confident Heather needed to get to our house as soon as possible.
10:56 AM - Ok. I’ll get ready and head there. (Midwife)
10:56 AM - I’ll be home in like 10 minutes. I’m grabbing my stuff and then I’ll be there in probably less than 30 minutes. (Doula)
I kneeled in front of the couch for the next contraction and felt the urge to push. I said to Andrew, “I’m either pooping or birthing a baby. Do you see poop coming out?” He didn’t. (Read Elliott’s birth story to understand why the urge to push this early in labor was concerning, but not alarming).
10:57 AM - More mucus discharge during latest contraction. (Andrew)
10:58 AM - Very good stuff! (Doula)
I walked over to the toilet just in case I was having a bowel movement and after the next contraction/push, I reached down and felt the crown of the baby’s head with my hand!
11:01 AM - Baby coming (Andrew)
I felt the urge to push again, stood up off the toilet, and felt Henry’s entire head. I told Andrew to help me catch the baby and he supported Henry’s butt as his entire body emerged. Andrew placed Henry on my chest and we heard him cry (thankfully!).
Andrew immediately called the doula and midwife and exclaimed with a twinge of panic, the baby is here! The midwife didn’t have a good connection, so we ended that call and our doula called us back to stay on the phone with us. She congratulated us, helped keep us calm, and instructed us on the next step, which was to transition to our bed from the bathroom so that I didn’t birth the placenta into the toilet.
Andrew helped me walk over to our bed. Our midwife arrived soon after and helped me birth the placenta. In the hours that followed, I recovered from labor and delivery in bed, breathing through cramps, and attempting to get Henry to breastfeed. A few hours after birth, Andrew cut the cord and our midwife began the newborn screenings and administered the recommended vitamin K shot and eye ointment. Henry weighed in at 5 pounds 8 ounces, even smaller than Elliott! The doula and midwife graciously cleaned up our house and departed around 1:00 PM. We wrapped Henry up in a swaddle and slept after an exciting morning, welcoming our 2nd perfect angelic baby to our family.
Henry, Andrew, and I about an hour after Henry's birth.
