Three Tips to Manage Anxiety

Tulips in Bellingham, Washington

For me, anxiety started in high school. I remember often feeling really overwhelmed because I was trying to do too much too perfectly. I needed to excel as a student, musician, actor, friend, daughter, sister, girlfriend etc. Being excellent at everything was a part of my identity. And I’ve continued to try to be perfect at everything until recently. 

Perfectionism is directly tied to anxiety and I’ve learned how to identify and manage anxiety. I’ve just started to find a more balanced, self-forgiving state of living. I’ve come to know that feelings of anxiety are a part of my life, not who I am. I avoid calling myself ‘an anxious person’, but instead, I am a person that experiences anxiety. 

I’ve learned a lot over the years. From therapy to acupuncture to yoga to nutrition, I have an extensive toolkit for being in relationship with my mind, body, and soul. But this progress comes down to three main foundational steps and I’ll break them down below.

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“The first step toward change is awareness.”

— Nathaniel Branden

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Step #1: Awareness

Anxiety looks like unnecessary nervousness. Anxiety sounds like doubt and worry. Anxiety feels like nerves in my stomach, shallow breathing, sweating, and diarrhea.

When I feel anxiety in my body or notice the thoughts in my mind, I can break the pattern. Without that awareness, the negative and judgmental thoughts run the show and cause me to freeze in an indecision panic, which spirals into depression. 

So you see, awareness is key. You can’t do much of anything without first catching the anxious thoughts in real time.

Me with a waterfall in Hawaii

Step #2: Movement

Walk, jog, dance, shake, bike, yoga, etc. etc. Anything to increase your heart rate, deepen your breath, and release energy. Anxiety comes from fear and processing fear requires movement. 

If you are having trouble sleeping, get up and shake your body. If you are feeling nervous about a work meeting, take a brisk walk. If you are angry, blast music and dance. It’s simple. You don’t need to join a gym. You don’t need to run a marathon. But most of us are way too sedentary. Allow yourself to be a little wild.

Southern California Mountains

Step #3: Acceptance

There comes a point where you’ll find that something that helped get rid of anxiety in the past, no longer works. For example, sometimes I’ll drink a cup of coffee and feel confident, alert, and alive and then, the next day, I’ll feel really jittery. Our tools often stop working when we NEED them to work, when we rely on them to make us feel better.

Try this: instead of doing everything you can to get away from anxiety, be with it. There’s a beauty in the challenge of feeling and surrendering to discomfort. It’s relieving to know that you don’t need to run from it, but that you are able to sit with and observe your feelings and thoughts; and maybe, you will decide to move forward anyway in this messy life.